The Love Loop 2
Hey everyone!
I really wish there wasn’t a sequel to the Love Loop but unfortunately there is. Donna asked me to write this post for the blog on behalf of the family…. as you can only imagine how raw a reoccurrence might feel… And at this time and the words are difficult to write.
It’s Shelley Lowes, from Regina SK…..Donna’s friend, sista, confidante, shoulder…and Donna is all that and more to me too. We have grown very close as the result of our cancer journeys and have a unique, real, and deeper appreciation for how we live, laugh and love….here is her story:
After 1 year and 10 days cancer-free, Donna completed routine blood work for a follow-up oncology appointment. On the morning of February 5th, 2014 she received a call asking for her and Kelly to come in to see the doctor at 1:30 PM. It was then that they discovered her CA125 count was highly elevated and more tests were required. On February 7th, the CT scan was inclusive and the CA125 continued to climb. On February 14th, Kelly, Donna, Amanda and Kyle were off to Winnipeg to meet with her team of oncology specialists. They were presented with 3 options: start chemo therapy immediately; wait and see what transpires then start chemotherapy; or if eligible for surgery, have surgery to determine exactly what is going on then start chemotherapy. Because Donna has worked so hard and was in the best shape for her body at this time, she was given the surgical option for consideration. On February 21st, via Telehealth conference to Winnipeg, surgery was chosen. On March 26th Donna had surgery to see what she and her family would be up against. As a result, the oncologists decided the best course of treatment would be immediate chemotherapy. This decision was made in part due to her initial success to chemotherapy and in part to the location of the reoccurrence. March 29th, Donna is home resting, regrouping and revalidating a new journey and new plan….Chemotherapy will begin in 2 weeks…..F@$%!Cancer!
As a friend and an experienced cancer patient, I have come to appreciate people’s intentions and well wishes….Donna and I have laughed many times over some of our encounters with various people. However, here are a few things to consider:
· A cancer patient does not need to know how many friends or relatives you know that have passed on…..I remember mere acquaintances approaching me in hockey rinks, grocery stores etc. and saying “I heard you have cancer….my mom/sister/friend died of cancer last week/month/year!” TRUE STORY…..and not just one person! This is not comforting information….just saying! Please don’t ignore us either….I know, it’s a fine line but take lead from us.
· A cancer patient does not want assumptions, speculations, or pitiful looks…..a cancer patient needs support. Trust the patient. Information will be shared. We will disclose information as we become comfortable with it. Please don’t question. There is no manual on how to be a cancer patient. There is no manual on how to interact with a cancer patient either. The world is very small and it is hurtful when someone calls to discuss your “latest bowel movement” because they heard from some else that someone in the family was at the drug store buying Senokot…..yup, TRUE STORY!
· TRUST is one of the best gifts you can give a friend.
· Chemotherapy is tough. There is no ands, ifs or buts about it! Not only is it hard on the patient it is crazy hard on the family! Hair loss, weight gain, fatigue, raging emotions….impacts those we are closest with. Please reach out to Kelly, Kyle, and Amanda and the boys….our families are our life, we just need a bit of extra help during treatment. Your past kindness and support was truly overwhelming and most appreciated.
· Please do not drop in unexpectedly….even with good intentions. Call, text or email.
Reoccurrence is a bitch! However, there is a plan. There will be ups and downs on this next journey and the Hamm’s will suit up in amour once again.
Please continue to post on the blog – knowing your thoughts, prayers and positive energy is overflowing into their hearts is most comforting. Even if you don’t get a response, please know the Hamm’s love you all very much and draw much strength from your words!
Love, Shelley xo
